Signs of An Affair:

How Can I Tell If My Spouse Is Cheating On Me?

by Sally R. Connolly, LMFT and John E. Turner, LMFT
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Other than finding your partner with a lover, there are few clear-cut signs of an affair; however, when there are changes in your partner and the marriage, there are often some indicators that an affair may be happening.

Some Of The Signs Of An Affair


The obvious signs of an affair include:

  • late hours,
  • a change in routine,
  • secretive phone calls, e-mails and texts,
  • changing passwords, sleeping with cell phones, excessive texting or "facebooking".
  • much more attention to grooming, dieting and exercise may be a sign of an affair,
  • a rush to the shower immediately after coming home,
  • the smell of perfume or cologne,
  • more mentioning of an opposite sex co-worker or no mention of one that was mentioned before.

Other Signs Of An Affair, Maybe Not Quite So Obvious

  • A feeling of distance with your spouse. Where you once may have talked about what was going on in each other’s lives, you now find that your partner is less available to do that. You have more difficulty in every day communication … reaching your partner by cell phone or at the office.
  • A change in attitude may be another sign of an affair. Your partner may once have been friendly and now seems more abrupt or disrespectful and may even appear to pick fights with you.

  • A definite moodiness about your partner, times of seeming to be very happy coupled with times of seeming depressed, sad or unhappy.
  • A change in frequency of sexual relations, either a definite lack of sexual involvement or significantly more and an interest in trying new or different things in the bedroom
  • Your intuition or “gut” tells you that something is wrong might be one of the signs of an affair.
  • Others close to you two may also mention that there seems to be a difference with your spouse.

Are you concerned that your spouse might be cheating on you?

Want to talk more about these signs or others you might be noticing in your relationship? 

Would you like a personal consultation for how to best handle your situation?  We have helped many others in your situation and would be glad to work with you. 

Click here to be taken directly to our online counseling and coaching website.  We can work together through email, phone or chat.  If you live in the Louisville, Kentucky area, we can meet in person.